I made it home. Gosh that feels good to say. There was a point where I saw myself never leaving my hospital room again. I sit here and wonder how we've managed it, I say we because the transplant team, nurses, physios, everyone played their part in getting me home. It's taken hard work, perseverance and pestering. I think it's fitting (especially with Mothering Sunday round the corner) I mention someone else that's HAD to play their part. Since transplant it has been a learning curve for my mum, pre transplant I wasn't on feeds, I didn't have a PEG or a port and towards the last 12mths before my transplant I wasn't in hospital (because there was nothing they could do but I did spend time in the hospice). Since coming home I'm on 6 IVs (steroids and an antibiotic called Meropenum), 12 nebulisers, 60 tablets a day plus oramorph, PEG feeds and fluids and a subcut Nozinan infusion (as antisickness not for psychosis!), the latter is the only thing that's looked after by district nurses. My mum is in two full time jobs, one as a carer everything from getting me dressed in a morning to washing my hair at night and the other as a nurse preparing IVs, sorting through my 40+ medications and ensuring I'm getting enough oxygen. I mean it when I say I don't know how she does it or where at times she finds the energy. If it wasn't for her I'd either still be in hospital now or I'd be in some form of care home somewhere. It deeply upsets me when her friend's say "can you just do this? I know you have alot of time on your hands!" My mum is my rock and I think it's fair to say I wouldn't be where I am now without her.

On March 11th I celebrated my 1yr Transplant anniversary. On the 10th I lit a flameless candle for the donor and her family on, a year ago a day that would have been one of the saddest days of their lives and I left it on for 24hrs. On the 11th I celebrated. I celebrated the fact that without my donor I wouldn't be here now, love, giving and new life. I had mum get me green helium balloons and we wrote messages on them, I ventured out of my room with mum, my nurse and physio to release them in her memory. We put annivesary banners and balloons up in my room and we celebrated and gave thanks. My physio took the snap, it would have been a good one if my eyes weren't shut!
Maybe I'll blog again in a few days when I'm settled in at home a bit but I think that's all I have to say for now :)

Update

So in this blog I feel the need to set a few things straight. Some not so very nice comments have been left on the main guest book on our website.I am not going on Granada Reports (local new station) tonight because out of 'courtesy' the local transplant centre after refusing to even give me a primary appointment have decided they could just about manage one and have given me one for the 24th of this month. I will be attending (even though I would just like to tell them where to stick their appointment) to find out exactly what 'criteria' it is I don't meet.

After a discharge meeting at the hospice yesterday, social services, after us asking until we were blue in the face if mum could be my carer agreed she could be under 'special circumstances'. Usually a family member that lives under the same roof under the care package I have cannot be the primary carer but they have decided to allow this in my 'special' case.

So I am looking at discharge on the 22nd. Will be going to day hospice twice a week opposed to the usual once a week so I have day hospice on the 23rd then transplant appointment on 24th. My primary consultant is aware and has agreed if I can't cope he will sort me out a bed in hospital, something we really want to avoid but bottom line is my lungs are just not good enough for me to be at home. It doesn't matter how many carers and how much help they will give us if I'm not well enough I'm just not well enough.

Anyway back to the reason for this post. I don't know who you are and which one of us that "I know someone who works at the hospital and has looked after you and theres nothing wrong with you, so get over it" comment in our guest book was aimed at, I can only guess me due to my recent press coverage but seriously if you can be that pathetic and think a comment like that in our guestbook is going to make a difference, well, how stupid are you?...

More later when I'm in a better mood at the moment I have lovely visitors I must get back to :-)