I am learning all the time, sometimes even when I don't realise it. The lessons I learn are sometimes hard to swallow, they don't always come in the easiest form but the hardest lessons I learn are the most valuable one's. A comment, or a few recently from a post transplant patient made me sit back and think for a second and if I'm honest upset me more than I even realised. They made me question if what I was doing by going down the road of transplant was actually the right one. After a chat with other post transplant patients I'm now left wondering why I let those comments get to me so much. They taught me a lesson, they taught me I love life and always will, it may not always be easy but it is worth every second. Transplant may not be the right thing for everyone, its a personal choice, my mind is made up, I want to get better, I want to live, if it that means having a transplant then so be it. I will tackle it like I do with everything else that life throws at me, to the best of my ability, I will never take one single breath for granted because I know I'm lucky, every day I wake upto is a bonus.
My transplant co-ordinator called this morning. They have a multidisciplinary meeting once a week, involving surgeons, co-ordinators and my consultant, it took place this morning and by the sounds of it my case was the topic of conversation. I called earlier in the week for an update and was told my case was being discussed today and that if the surgeons are happy I will be sent an appointment to see them. When I asked how long this would take I was told 4-6wks, I was a little bit deflated but happy to know this. So this morning after the meeting my co-ordinator called, the surgical director and head of the transplant program wants to see me on Wednesday. My co-ordinator seemed keen to state that at this point it is still an 'if' I go on the list situation as ultimately the decision lies with the surgeons. The paperwork which I'm required to sign should the surgeon agree to transplant has been sent to me in the post, this will then be sent to Transplant UK and they will contact us when I go active on the transplant list. My consultant as promised has fast tracked my case and I haven't had to wait to see the surgeons. I'm told he will spend about an hour talking with us, discussing the surgical details of the procedure, potential problems and will answer questions which I must get writing down. I am quite looking forward to meeting the surgeons, even if at this point it is a no (everything looks good, everyone is confident, I've got this far but it's still a possibility) and hearing the details of transplant, people seem believe its a case of old lungs out, new lungs in but I'm inclined to think it must be a little more complicated than that!
Any positive thoughts would be greatly appreciated :-)
Sending some smiles!
4 weeks ago